Seriously Unserious

7th post for #bloganuary (a WordPress event)

The Prompt: What makes you laugh?

Answer: Me. And I mean that seriously.

Seriously Unserious (a serious essay about silliness, seriously!)

(originally published July 25, 2021 on Monty’s Scribbles)

Silliness is not a frivolous exercise for me. But rather a battle for some semblance of sanity. My brain tends to drain into downward spirals. Things tend to get pretty damn dark after awhile. The facts don’t matter so much. The dream house. The loving wife. The healthy kids. These are just idiosyncrasies in a life too good for me. Emotionally, I feel unworthy.

So what to do when I’m feeling blue? It makes no sense so there is no amount of evidence that will support a winning defense. A logical argument just gets twisted and warped within my noggin. I’m wired for self-flogging. The answer is a cliché. Let me explain my way. The best defense against my negativity is a seriously unserious offense. Truthfully, it’s quite silly. Literally.

“Haha”, I force a fake laugh. “Hehe” I yelp, hoping it will help. Sometimes I speak in garbely gook, a language of nonsensical sounds that usually have a rhyming hook. Once I’ve found my sound, It becomes my dance track. My body starts to move like a moose that just lost its rack. Unburdened. Clumsily leaping and lurching to freedom’s beat.  Never looking back.

Onlookers may call me crazy. Except young kids. They understand me. They join in with their very own whoop and holler. No need to fake their laughter. They’ve yet to forget that silliness is a sure-all cure-all to the doldrums. Kids are wired for play. That’s why they are so resilient against all of life’s trials thrown their way. Then we “grow-up.” We forfeit our silliness for seriousness and life becomes injurious. 

But usually this is a solo affair. Just me flailing strangely in the air. Starting off forced and fake, a true laugh starts to overtake. I twist and turn in a mental dance. My downward spiral spinning into an upward swirl. Silliness lifts my spirit. I don’t know why I keep forgetting this. That’s what this essay is for. A reminder for when I’m feeling down and unsure.

Silliness, my drug of choice. Yes, some side effects. Most notably strange looks. But trust me it’s worth it. I’m speaking to me as much as to you. For I’m in a moment of need. “Haha”. “Hehe”. Off I go. This is going to be one hell of a weird dance show. Let’s get up while getting down. It’s time to go to silly town.

Be well,

Monty

• Under the Earth’s Shadow
  I lay awake under the earth’s shadowGentle breathing curled at my feetA companion in this darknessHolding guard against The cold reality and coming lightFor I’mContinue reading “Under the Earth’s Shadow”
• Blue Heron
  Be well, Monty
• Endure Me
  Endure meEndure my cold feet under the sheetsEndure my rough breaths sawing through the night’s airMy tossing and turningMy hogging all the blanketsMy nightmare kicksMyContinue reading “Endure Me”
• Departing
  Be well, Monty
• Scenes from Today
  These are untouched photographs from today’s walk on Bainbridge Island, Washington (just applied a simple frame). Be well, Monty
• Perched in the Moonlight
  Be well, Monty
• Playing with Time
  Be well, Monty
• How Did I Get to This Beautiful Place?
  Be well, Monty
• Birds in Flight
  Be well, Monty
• Rising Sun
  Be well, Monty
• Forest Moon
  Be well, Monty
• Blessed
  Be well, Monty
• Snowy Scene
  Happy snow day! Be well, Monty
• Peek-a-Boo
  Poking my head up after a spontaneous hiatus. I hope you are all well – happy and healthy. I’m on holiday visiting my mom inContinue reading “Peek-a-Boo”
• A Return to Patterns
  Be well, Monty
• Quiet
  He’s been quiet lately. The voice in my head. The voice that is, quite frankly, a bit nuts. Often compelling me toward darkness. Vacillating betweenContinue reading “Quiet”
• Today
  Today’s a gorgeous weather day. Cool with a light breeze. Bright and sunny aside from my spot in the shade of the tree above me.Continue reading “Today”
• Shine On
  Shine on, shine on, shine on meShine your light on meLight me up, cast away my doubtsLift me out of these shadowsI’m ready, I’m ready,Continue reading “Shine On”
• Here I Go Again
  Here I go again. Interrupting this negative space with some generic typeface. No particular intentions. Just wanna release built-up tensions. It’s coming out in dripsContinue reading “Here I Go Again”
• A Test of the Heart
  I’m wearing a Holter heart monitor today and I can’t help but wonder if it can see past the irregular beats and witness how whollyContinue reading “A Test of the Heart”
• An Observation and a Query
  A fly walks by. S t r e t c h i n g Its legs, I guess? Be well, Monty
• A Gentle Drizzle Sets the Scene
  A gentle drizzle sets the scene;The last of the season’s persimmons hang-on,Half-concealed behind leaves shimmering underA quiet concert of pitter-patter percussion. In quick succession aContinue reading “A Gentle Drizzle Sets the Scene”
• The Birds
  The birds are watching me from the wire above. What are they thinking? Do they see my sadness?Or are they too busy balancing in theContinue reading “The Birds”
• Mired in Mud
  Mired in mud.I don’t like this feeling, but I appreciate the alliteration. Mired in mud, mud, mud.Stuck in repetition. Mired,So tired — In mudOf sinsContinue reading “Mired in Mud”
• Let Me Be (Note to Self)
  Let me be angry. Without good reason.Let me be lonelyEven if not alone.Let me be sadJust because I am.Please, Let me be. Be well, Monty
• Morning Cocktail
  Morning Cocktail 3 parts Zoloft 1 part AbilifyMix meditatively and pray for help with my unbeliefDilute to taste and swallow (along with my pride)Assume PeacefulContinue reading “Morning Cocktail”
• Rhyming Inventories
  A Rhyming Inventory of Things I’ve Not Been Doing Because They Would Make Me Feel Better (and I Don’t Deserve To)1. Prayer or meditation2. TakeContinue reading “Rhyming Inventories”
• Poetic License
  I applied for my poetic license today;It was rejected due to a grammatical error.Oh, The irony. Be well, Monty
• REDACTED
  ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ Be well, Monty
• This Morning’s Song
  Coffee. Bold. Fragrantly steaming — the weather’s turned cold. Expresso doubled again and again.I opened my day’s calendar — it appears never ending. Patience isContinue reading “This Morning’s Song”
• Unashamed
  Naked. Clothed only by my sins. Jealousy wrapped around my neck. Sloth draped over my shoulders. Lust sagging around my ankles. Here I am. SeeContinue reading “Unashamed”