I Don’t Feel Strong

25th post for #bloganuary (a WordPress event)


The Prompt: Write about what makes you feel strong.


I don’t feel strong. At least not the strong that this word connotes to me. The “be a man” strong that is pushed on me when I’m afraid. The “big boys don’t cry” strong that shames me when I’m hurt or sad. I’m not that kinda strong.

I don’t feel strong. I’m not hard and impenetrable. I’m tarnished with scars from life’s wounds. Some inflicted by others. Many by myself. They remind me of the pain and hurt I felt and feel. They remind me that life is not easy and smooth. Yet, I’m choosing to live.

I don’t feel strong. I don’t stand firm and tall. I’ve been bent and scattered by the winds of time. I’ve fallen under the weight of gravity. I’ve been pulled and pushed by the tides. Yet, today I stand. Not so tall, but I stand.

I don’t feel strong, but I am. My surface is soft and malleable. I respond to life’s touch. Accommodate and adjust. My core is flexible and resilient. I bend in the wind. Almost aerodynamically, I reduce resistance. Gaining lift.

My roots, once rigid, deep, and alone, then torn asunder, are born again. Young and agile they reach out. Interconnecting me. Providing me stability. Stability that comes from communing with the roots of others. Meaningful. Empathetic. Loving.

I don’t feel strong, but I am.



Be well,

Monty


12 Comments

  1. Kathleen says:

    Love the cadence!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Thanks! This one took awhile. I knew what I wanted to say but not how I wanted to say it.

      Like

  2. That is wonderful Monty. I never considered myself to be a strong person but, when tested, I found strength I never knew I had. I can relate to everything you said here. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Thanks, MIchelle! I didn’t realize I was going to be writing about my strength when I started the piece. The title reflects how I felt. It was like I discovered it during the writing process.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Awwww Monty this is beautiful!

    Like

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Thanks so much!!! I got a little lost on time while writing this one…missed a work meeting…haha.

      Like

  4. Good job pointing out the difference between ‘feeling’ and ‘being.’

    Like

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Thanks. It evolved during the writing. It wasn’t till I worked it through that I realized I am, in fact, strong.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s awesome! And a great testament how we never know what will come out of our writing.

        Like

      2. Monty Vern says:

        I know, right! It’s a big reason why I write everyday. A little bit of discovery. Thanks again for the read and feedback.

        Liked by 1 person

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