The Sun and I (Blues Stanza)

Since it’s poetry month, I thought I would try out some new forms and I bumped into a great blog post from A Different Perspective listing out 13 poetic form prompts. A big thanks to them for the inspiration

Prompt 6

Write a Blues Stanza poem or

Write a poem incorporating the theme of resilience.

A Different Perspective by muisopsis

Here are the guidelines for a Blues Stanza:

– Three line stanzas

– Flexible but around 12 syllables with 4-6 stresses per line.

– Structure:
Line 1 is a statement
Line 2 is a restatement of line 1, slightly modified.
Line 3 is a response

– Rhyme scheme: aaa, bbb, ccc, …

Blues Stanza, as implied by the name, is a form inspired by blues music. Generally they have a theme of a complaint or lament. The structure is an adaptation of how blues lyrics may be spontaneous and the second line provides a bit of a break to allow for thinking time to come up with a response. Pretty cool!

Ok, time to get “bluesy” — and once again I’ll bring in the optional element of the prompt with a theme of resilience.


The Sun and I

Awake to my warmth its time to feel the light.
Welcome my warmth. Come on. Awake to my good sight.
I will. I will awake. Your shining so nice and bright.

What’s this? What’s this? Are those clouds in the sky?
What’s this? What’s this? Was the forecast a big lie?
Must you leave so quickly? I’ll miss you too much, sigh.

My early morning’s light too briskly fades away.
Our morning’s joy so bright too quickly fades away.
What’s the hurry? What’s the rush? Please awhile stay.

I’m still here. I’m here, hiding behind this dark rain cloud.
I’m hiding out. Can you see me peeking through this cloud?
Please don’t hide. Do not shy away. Shine bright. Be proud.

Alas the rain has come. The rain is surely here.
Alas your eyes are wet. Your tears are also here.
Its okay. I’ll be alright. Your a good friend dear.

The rain has not abated. It seems here to stay.
The rain has not abated. You’ve been crying all day.
Its okay. I’ll be alright. I’ll get through this day.

Its time. I’m setting, getting ready for the night.
The moon is rising signaling its time for night.
Yes, it’s been a hard day for us both. A battle. A fight.

In this nights moonlight, let us take a good rest.
Under this moon’s light, let us lay down and rest.
Good night! Good night! Todays been quite a hard test.

Good night! Good night! I’ll be back soon reborn.
Good night! Sleep tight! I’ll be here soon reborn.
Yes! Yes! Good night! See you early tomorrow morn!


Woah, that took a number of revisits to get the subjects in the conversation right throughout the poem. I do like repetition plus rhyming scheme, which provides a lot of musicality and rhythm. I’m not sure if I broke form by having shorter statements within some of the lines, but I like the effect. This is a form that I will definitely explore further in the future.

What do you think? Wanna give it a try?


Be well,

Monty


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  • REDACTED
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9 Comments

  1. gigglingfattie says:

    This was amazing Monty! I loved reading it! I like this style of poem, but I’m not sure I would have the patience to sit and do it properly haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Thanks so much. This defiantly took more work then I expected. I kept changing who was talking in the wrong line and had to rework it completely a couple of times. But it is a cool vibe the way it all flows in the end.

      Like

      1. gigglingfattie says:

        Oh wow! Good job getting it finished! I would have probably just given up lol

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Monty Vern says:

        I like a challenge. I picked my major in university based it being the course I struggled with the most in high school. (Chemistry —> Chemical Engineering) Not intentionally because it was hard, but because it grabbed my interest. I’m weird.

        Like

      3. gigglingfattie says:

        Haha thats amazing

        Liked by 1 person

  2. murisopsis says:

    Well done!! Your Blues Stanza rolls along and is a fun one to read out loud. I really enjoyed your take on resilience too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Yay! Thanks so much!

      Like

  3. Loved the structure you used and especially this line: Alas your eyes are wet. Your tears are also here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Thanks so much. This was my first time with this form so it took some work to figure out.

      Like

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