Q&A with Monty (Another Weekend Quickie)

Rory at ‘A Guy Called Bloke’ runs a “Weekend Quickie” series which poses a series of questions. I thought, why not give it a try and I’ve been having fun so I’m giving it another go. I also encourage you to check out Rory’s blog for other interesting content and give him a follow.


The 10 Questions from A Guy Called Bloke (& My Answers)

Q1: Name one sport that is already dangerous but would be lethal if you were naked.

So the first sport that came to mind when thinking dangerous is rugby, which my son used to play and is brutal. But, honestly, I don’t think it would be much more dangerous naked vs. clothed. Whereas lacrosse and hockey both heavily rely on protective gear to prevent death by impact with a flying object. I’ll say ice hockey since you’ve also gotta deal with potential frostbite.

Q2: If I had three bananas in my right pocket and 17 grapes in my left pocket what would I have in my back pocket?

There is clearly not enough information here to determine an exact answer so I can just hypothesize. It’s possible that it could be three bananas or 17 grapes since you didn’t specify that they were in your right FRONT pocket or left FRONT pocket. But I’m going to go with my intuition that this isn’t a trick question. Your seriously asking what’s in your back pocket because you’ve forgotten. Sorry I can’t help you out definitively, but if you’re in the habit of stuffing fruit in your pockets, my best guess is it’s a pineapple in your back pocket. So watch your ass when sitting down. Your lucky its not a Durian!

Q3: How many animals were aboard Noah’s Ark?

The Bible is not my best subject. Let’s see, there will be Noah himself and his partner of course. The aardvarks (2) . The bears (2). The cheetahs (2). Oh this is going to take forever to figure out. Plus timing matters (how many are aboard at the start of the flood vs. how many are aboard at the end). After all, I would need to account for births and deaths. Darn. Let’s just give it a guess. 78?

Q4: What is the second largest organ in your body and could you live without it?

Ok. I’m NOT going to look anything up as that, to me, defeats the purpose of this type of Q&A. I’m thinking that our skin would be the largest organ. We can’t live without our skin, but that wasn’t the question anyway. Is the second largest organ our brain? I’m guessing so. Yes, I could live without it, but I’d rather not. I’ve operated without it a bunch of times and it never quite works out.

Q5: What it the most reckless thing you have ever done as an adult?

I need to address this question with genuine sincerity. I betrayed the trust of those that I love and I almost lost them forever. While I can’t live a healthy life in the constant thought of regret, I will always remember and try to make amends whenever I can.

Q6: I came, I saw and I didn’t…[what?]

…like what I saw so I left. I don’t need the drama.

Q7: What are 5 ways to keep warm when lost outside in a snowstorm with a stranger?

1) Slice them open and crawl inside.
2) Nope, I can’t think of any other solution to this conundrum.
3) …n/a
4) …n/a
5) …n/a

Q8: How does your mind work — what am I talking about if these words are used – Melons, Jugs, bubbles and orbs.

Bubble Tea (of the fruity variety) — I’d explain but its complicated.

Q9: Which language are these words and terms from? — ankle biter, strewth, bludger, sunnies barbie, buddy, furphy and woop woop?

New Zealand English? — just a guess. All I know is that it’s not a language that my spellchecker recognizes as I had to retype most of these repeatedly for them to not be auto-corrected. Here is what I think each word or term means:

Ankle Biter — a puppy dog who want to play.

Strewth — objects that are strewn. Like confetti or streamers at a party.

Bludger — a club or stick used to bludgeon.

Sunnies Barbie — sunny side eggs cooked on the grill.

Nuddy — a buddy that has betrayed you. You know, a nuddy.

Furphy — Eddie Murphy at a Furries convention.

Woop Woop – Reverse cowboy position.

Q10: Do you prefer to ring my bell, push the button, knock on wood or walk on by and why did you select your choice?

I’m torn here. I’ve always been petrified of ringing doorbells/knocking on doors even for close friends. I remember as a kid riding my bicycle all the way to a friends house on multiple occasions and then not having the nerve to actually knock on the door. There is something about it that flusters me. I feel vulnerable and at risk of being challenged as to why did I think I was good enough to come and actually knock on their door!? But, although it’s been brief, I’ve come to really appreciate your sense of humor and I genuinely like the idea of having a conversation. So I’m going to ring the bell but can’t promise I won’t run away before you get to the door.

Bonus Question: Who said ‘It’s just a flesh wound?’ and who were they talking to?

Hmm. These quotes alway stump me. It’s interesting that it’s a question vs. a statement. So the speaker is somebody injured talking to someone that just informed them that it’s just a flesh wound, like a doctor or another type of professional. I get the sense that they might have been thinking it was much more serious and making a big deal about it then the doctor is saying it’s just a flesh wound so stop making such a crying fuss. I’m going to guess the character Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) in Beverly Hills Cop speaking to his partner, “Billy”, after Axel is grazed by a bullet and being a crybaby about it.


Thanks again to Rory for the questions. This was fun.

Be well,

Monty

17 Comments

  1. I like your choice of hockey, cos you also have to watch out since everyone has knives on their feet 😬

    Staying warm in a snowstorm: well I’m Canadian so I say doing light exercises. You don’t want to sweat but it will keep blood flowing to your extremities.

    I think maybe lungs are bigger than our brains? 🤷‍♀️ that would be my guess haha

    And for reals: an ankle biter is someone who is short. But its kind of a mean joke, so short they could bite your ankles lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      I was a bit torn if the skates would be allowed in naked hockey, but yeah that would be one slashing bloodbath!

      I think the answer was liver for 2nd largest organ, but now that you mention lungs I would have thought that too.

      As for the ankle biter, you may be right, but at my house it’s definitely my dog Jack. But it’s just a playful mouthing, nothing too serious.

      Thanks for stopping by and hope you enjoy the “special week” ahead.

      Like

      1. Lol “special week”…do you know something I don’t know? Haha

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Monty Vern says:

        I hope you know! You told us all to remember. Haha.

        Like

      3. OOOOHHHHH haha I didnt expect you to *actually* remember lol

        Liked by 1 person

  2. aguycalledbloke says:

    Hey Monty , some cracking answers in there! Crawling inside the dead body is the tricky one isn’t it? I mean, what happenes if they are smaller than your taller or slimmer than you, is it possible to fit inside the body of another human being, perhaps that is a question all buy itself? Perhaps we are only to cover parts of us and have the other parts exposed. What happens when the storm has passed, do you run away from the murdered body or eat the evidence?

    Do you recognise any of these ..

    New Zealand English is a good guess, it’s actually Australian English. But kudos to you for your wordery.

    Ice Hockey would be seriously nasty naked, pucks, sticks and frozen assets oh shuddersomes!

    What on earth is bubble tea?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Hey Rory, hmm some good follow-up questions here and thanks for all the educational info and links! haha.

      Let’s see. I’m not going to pretend I had it all figured out when I answered your question the first time, but after a bit more pondering I’d say that whomever is bigger should sacrifice their body to the smaller to enable the physics to work. So, if I’m the bigger stranger I’ll volunteer for them to slice me open and use me like an oven warmer. Vice-versa if I’m the smaller. I feel that is fair. I realize it’s a bit of a stretch for two strangers to arrive at such an agreement, but I believe in humanity. And regarding the aftermath and consequences — I’d turn myself into the police and let justice figure out what, if any, punishment is required.

      As for the music, I’ve definitely never heard of #1 and #2. #3 sounded the most familiar. #4 maybe slightly. But I’m definitely not very well versed in music. I have the same issue with recognizing the quotes. I’ve either never heard of them or my memory is just crap (for Monty Python I’ve seen it all I just don’t recall the specifics). My brain is a bit sieve.

      Australian was my first intuition but I didn’t want to guess something so obvious. I decided to focus on the potential meanings and have some fun.

      Bubble Tea (a.k.a. Boba Tea) – is originally from Taiwan and is a drink made up of tea (or recently juice too) that has tapioca balls inside. You drink it with an extra wide straw in order to get the “bubbles”. The classic version is black tea with milk plus the “bubbles”. Still my favorite. So when I saw melons + jugs I could have guessed breasts but decided to go with second intuition which was melons = fruit —> fruit + jug = fruit juice —> fruit juice + bubbles = bubble tea. The other words were just synonyms for balls/bubbles.

      Thanks again for a good time, Rory!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. aguycalledbloke says:

        Awesome Sauce Monty, l had not heard of bubble tea and now l have. My genuine thanks for that.

        What then happens if both strangers are the same size as each other?

        Would that mean therefore that if both strangers had the same idea during a snowstorm that they would simply fight each other to the death to prove their theory? They would be keeping warm that way of course 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Monty Vern says:

        I think my logics run it’s course on this one. How about I and the stranger just dance together to keep warm?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. aguycalledbloke says:

        Ah, with the intention of slitting their throat and keep warm with the blood loss?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Monty Vern says:

        Hahahah! Perhaps!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. aguycalledbloke says:

        Well there we go, that’s perhaps the compromise , ‘” I’ll not kill you straight away – let’s dance first shall we … [the old mawahahaha moment of deception] “

        Liked by 1 person

  3. You do realize that you would need to remove their bones to make it any bit comfortable, right?

    Like

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Any stranger that let’s me get the better of them this way must already be boneless.

      Liked by 1 person

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