Dear Son, I Just Need to Know You’re Alive (Kyrielle)

Since it’s poetry month, I thought I would try out some new forms and I bumped into a great blog post from A Different Perspective listing out 13 poetic form prompts. A big thanks to them for the inspiration

Prompt 8

Write an Kyrielle poem or

Write a poem incorporating the theme of servitude

A Different Perspective by muisopsis

Here are the guidelines for a Kyrielle:

– Made up of two or more four line stanzas
– Each line 8 made up of 8 syllables
– Rhyme Scheme can be aabb, abab, aaab, or abcb
– The last line of each stanza repeats as a refrain

This sounds fairly technical, but the 8 syllable short lines keep it reasonable. Let’s give it a try. I haven’t yet decided on the subject of this poem so not sure if I will include the optional theme or not. Let’s see what happens.


Dear Son, I Just Need to Know Your Alive

I’ve never felt so far away,
Like a continental divide.
Is this silence to make me pay?
I just need to know you’re alive.

My messages go unanswered;
You’ve declined all the calls I’ve tried;
Is this silence your sharp sword?
I just need to know you’re alive.

The last time you spoke in anger;
Mommy’s heart broke down as she cried;
Although your words truly hurt her,
I just need to know you’re alive.

Since, its been a war of silence;
Anger would mean loves not yet died
But is this just indifference?
I just need to know you’re alive.

I’ve never felt so far away,
Like a continental divide.
How did we ever get this way?
I just need to know you’re alive.


Well, I clearly needed to get a weight off of my chest and express my current state of distress about my son’s silence. I know he’s struggling and while I don’t claim to know his exact feelings I’ve certainly experienced my own struggles and can empathize. I also know what it’s like to just want to escape life. To exit. I know this feeling all too well. I think this is why the silence is so scary.

As for the poetic form, I think its quite worthy to revisit. I’m not loving this particular poem’s use of it as my feelings are very messy and so compartmentalizing them into a specific syllabic and rhyming scheme was probably too limiting in this instance. Maybe I’ll come back again later this month and give this form another go. Let’s see. For now, I got what I needed in expressing and sharing my worries.


Be well,

Monty


11 Comments

  1. murisopsis says:

    Monty, this poem is heartbreaking! The use of the refrain really emphasizes the need to know. Even if you are not a fan of the form, this poem is a really good one that tells a story, is filled with emotions and also holds onto hope… I can’t imagine an estrangement with my sons. Still I know you are not alone. A family friend’s son dropped off the face of the earth. He surfaced 10 years later having spent the intervening time homeless and drug addicted. He was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia but he refused treatment. I hope you and your son have a happier ending.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Thank you for your message. It’s not that I’m not a fan of the form, i just felt a little restricted in the moment. I will certainly come back and use this form again. I am hopeful that we will have a happier journey with our son. It’s heartbreaking.

      Like

  2. I’m sorry to read this Monty. I hope you hear from your son soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Thank you Michelle.

      Like

  3. afshan18 says:

    I hope he checks your blog and responds!
    I can feel the pain u r going through. You are in my thoughts

    wishing u well. TC

    Good day – Dropping by from A to Z – https://afshan-shaik.blogspot.com/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Your very kind. Thank you.

      Like

  4. Wow this is such a sad poem! I hope that he reaches out soon and gets back in touch so the healing process can begin.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Thank you sincerely.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know how it is to be angry at a parent, for whatever reason, and it’s really hard to over come that. A parent is so different than anyone else and sometimes it’s much harder to forgive or try to reconcile.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Monty Vern says:

        Yes, there are so many expectations that we have with our parents and when they let us down (as all parent do and I certainly have) the pain and disappointment are magnified by those expectations. All I can do is try to make amends and continue to be present for when he is ready.

        Like

      3. Yes exactly! And I hope it doesnt take too long for him to get there

        Liked by 1 person

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