I Can’t Complain (Rant Prose)

Since it’s poetry month, I thought I would try out some new forms and I bumped into a great blog post from A Different Perspective listing out 13 poetic form prompts. A big thanks to them for the inspiration

Prompt 13

Write an Rant Prose poem or

Write a poem about blindness

A Different Perspective by murisopsis

Here are the guidelines for Rant Prose:

– Complain
– Complain
– Complian
– 🤷‍♂️

So, I have to admit that I’ve been dreading this form. I think we are all so good at complaining in our lives and we share it openly in our tweets, and texts, and office conversations. I’m not sure, I’m up for this. I guess I could complain about complaining, but that seems a bit obnoxious since I DO complain plenty. Hmm. Let’s see how this goes.

I Can’t Complain

I can’t complain? Is that so? Not true, I’ll let you know.
For my iced coffee is too cold, my antiques are too old.
My puppy is too sweet, I’ve got too much to eat.
Worst of all I’ve too much time, this crosses the line.

So don’t tell me I can’t complain. Let me further explain.
My kids are too smart (and always do their fair part),
My wife is too kind (what a terrible find),
Oh and don’t get me going about all the chores being finished! The laundry folded! the dishes washed! the floors mopped! I’ve got nothing to do but drink beer and learn Finnish.

As you can see, my life is a contemporary dystopia. I can’t even write a rant without rhymes coming to my mind. This is supposed to be prose without any set form, yet I’m rhyming up a right ol’ storm. I must confess, this is turning into quite the poetic mess. Now where was I? Ah, still complaining I guess.

Let’s see. Let’s see. There are still a few things bothering me. Like sunshine and good wine and the absolute worstest thing of all is how everything seems to be just fine.

So you see, as I’ve clearly explained, I’ve got every right to complain. Now tell me you agree (or I’ll continue to argue and plea).

Well a bit snarky I guess, but I can’t complain. Hope you enjoyed. This was the final poetic form prompt in this series. I can’t thank @murisopsis enough for all of the inspiration these prompts provided. I’ve had so much fun learning hands-on as well as reading all the great pieces from the other participants. THANK YOU!

Be well,

Monty

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• Blue Heron
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• How Did I Get to This Beautiful Place?
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• Shine On
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• A Test of the Heart
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• An Observation and a Query
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• Rhyming Inventories
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• REDACTED
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