Watch Me (Sunday Scribblings)

Peckapalooza over at The Confusing Middle runs a weekly prompt called Sunday Scribblings. Check out his post and join in the creativity!

Sunday Scribblings #110 – Watch

Warning: this post contains content related to self-harm.


Watch Me

Watch me slice my flesh, through the tendons to the bone.
Watch me bleed brightly across the white sheets in patterns of pain.
Watch me cry out tears of relief, for a final peace.
Watch me close my eyes, so you don’t have to.
Watch me exhale desperate for it to be my last.

Don’t watch me suddenly inhale with fear.
Don’t watch me open my eyes, unnaturally dilated with pills of courage.
Don’t watch me cry tears, cold with the realization of failure.
Don’t watch me stop bleeding, congealed and clotted by regret.
Please, God, stop watching me.


Be well,

Monty

6 Comments

  1. murisopsis says:

    This is so painful and frightening to read! I knew a girl who was a cutter. She had so much pain in her life… She switched to tattoos to cover the scars (still painful) but she is in a better head space and has stopped cutting… There is hope and God never stops watching or loving us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      My daughter has also moved from cutting to tattoos. Seems like it’s a more positive outlet for the need.

      Like

  2. Goodness, note to self, don’t skip over the introduction and head straight to the post because I totally missed the trigger warning at the top!

    I’m glad your daughter has moved on to tattoos instead of self-harm. I’m also sorry she has the emotions that gave her the need in the first place. Hoping with time she is able to work through those feelings and not have the need at all

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Oh, sorry for that. I took a bit of a twist on the prompt this time but it was what I needed to say. Actually this is not about my daughter (who did cut) but about myself when younger. I was not a cutter but I did cut. I think the difference is intention. I was seeking a final exit vs. just escape from pain.

      Like

      1. No it was my fault this time. Ive gotten used to your style of introductions and then your own writing and I just skipped the intro to Aaron’a posts haha

        Im sorry that you went through that. And glad you’re on the other side of it

        Liked by 1 person

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