Thoughts from My Journal

I’m feeling a bit low today. I want to write but I’m uninspired. So I sit with my fingers on the keyboard and type the obvious. It’s a beginning at least.

I’ve recently received some disappointing news health-wise. Nothing critically dangerous, but significant. It’s a wake-up call for sure.

I want to be left alone, yet I don’t want to feel lonely. I just want to sit across from someone I love and not have to say anything. To feel whatever I’m feeling without explanation or reason.

There are two guards dressed in blue medical gear outside my house. I’m locked down due to a covid case at my office. They cast a wide net and I was caught. Today is day two of what is likely to be seven. Unless there is another positive case…then its hard to know.

I’m tired and a bit hungry. An effect of the diet that I’m on to address the aforementioned health issues. It’s a good thing that I’m doing and I’ve already lost about a quarter of the weight I need to. It’s progress. But its not easy and its taking its toll on me.

My dog, Jack, has been nosy lately. As in he comes over and aggressively uses his nose to push me. I wonder if he can sense something is wrong? Or perhaps he is feeling a bit needy himself?

It’s Friday morning and I’ve got some meetings ahead of me. I don’t feel like pretending to care today. That’s a dangerous feeling at the beginning of a work day. It’s when I get myself into trouble being too honest. Perhaps writing this down will be enough of a reminder to bite my tongue a bit.

The battery is winding down. 18% and falling. I guess I will have to wrap this up soon. Or not. I could always recharge. Just like myself. I could do a bit of yoga or get on the bike or meditate or just breath. I know it works from experience. I also know I often choose not to. What a strange creature I am.

I don’t usually journal. I like to write shareable content. This is not really shareable or interesting, but I’m still going to post. A writer is not always interesting. This is an honest peek into my mind. Un-curated. Un-edited.

Well, that’s not quite true. There is always a bit of a filter on. It keeps you and I both safer. Trust me on this.

Be well,



  1. Sorry you’re not having a great day Monty. I hope the weekend will be better. Hang in there! Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry about the medical news, but since you dubbed it a wake-up call, I hope that it propels you to a better path and future.

    Guards outside your home? Hmmm… do they have weapons? What would they do if you tried to leave? It’s kind of cool that you have 24/7 protection in case something was to happen.

    Yes, I guess you are right that there always is some sort of a filter on when we share our posts. However, I am all about switching things up sometimes and sharing something more personal and with a smaller obvious purpose. Sometimes we just want to share a bit of ourselves with people we might never get to meet. They’re our friends but also strangers, which is a great balance for that sort of thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Thanks for sharing your reflections on what I wrote. I’m not sure what the guards would do if I tried to leave but I’m not inclined to test them as I’m pretty sure the end result would be me in a Chinese prison, which is not an experience in my bucket list.

      Regarding filter, I definitely have much less of one for my Monty audience then I do for my “regular life” audience and it’s freeing for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. murisopsis says:

    It is in the sharing of the mundane and personal tidbits from daily life that we begin to make connections and it is the connections through the small things that bring people closer! Hope your weekend goes well and you can rest!!

    Liked by 1 person

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