He’s been quiet lately. The voice in my head. The voice that is, quite frankly, a bit nuts. Often compelling me toward darkness. Vacillating between escape strategies – sometimes into deep sadness. Other times into manic self-sabotaging fantasies. And, more often than not, he’s also been my muse.

He’s been quite lately. And so have I. Quite in a good way. Calm. At peace. But also quiet in a discomforting way. Directionless. And, to be honest, uninspired. I feel conflicted. Should I embrace the silence and the peace it brings me in my daily life? Or should I stir up the pot a bit? Disrupt the mundane? Poke the devil in the eye and see what happens?

Intellectually, I understand this is a false choice. That my creativity doesn’t have to be at the expense of my peace-of-mind. That I may just need to evolve my approach. Open my mind to new sources of inspiration. And that this, perhaps, might even lead to new passions and greater creativity.

But emotionally, I’m mourning this loss. I’m missing the creative fluidity. Being “in the zone” and emerging surprised by the outcome. It’s been a thrilling ride.

I’m not conceding. After all, I’m writing this piece. A bit haltingly, yes, but I’m carrying on. Yes, I’m carrying on.

Be well,



  1. Kathleen says:

    Carry on!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I used to think the same way but most of the pieces of writing that please me the most have come from a place of peace. I loved this post Monty

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      Thanks! Your encouragement is appreciated!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. murisopsis says:

    This post does not read as choppy or halting – it is a smooth ride/read. I think that writing – like running does not need to be fraught with difficulty or chaos. Once begun you can get into a rhythm – just not the old one. Perhaps writing to a calmer tune can still set the soul afire?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monty Vern says:

      It was halting when in production…haha, but thanks for letting me know the result doesn’t show it. Yes, I’m ready!


  4. Carry On, My Wayward Son

    Liked by 1 person

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