Author Archives: Monty Vern

Personal blogger, author & illustrator, and overall fallible human being.

Monty’s Very Short Shorts – #Indirect

#Indirect

Natasha Yentrouc @Threads

#Indirect

The girl, young woman I should say, was dressed in a white lab coat sitting in front of a bank of monitors filled with data flashing by as the mainframe ran her latest model. She prayed to the statistical gods that her hypothesis of an indirect proportion would be proven correct. Not only would it overturn a century of scientific “proof” and launch her into the history books, but it would mean her thesis would finally be accepted and she could escape the ivory tower.

(an attempt at indirect characterization)

If you enjoy these very short stories, you can also check out one of my earliest books – MONTY’S VERY SHORT SHORTS which includes 366 illustrated pieces (one for each day in my life of 2020).

Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty

Monty’s Very Short Shorts – #Bridge

#Bridge

Natasha Yentrouc @Threads

Jack Splat (#Bridge)

I slid down the bridge of her nose,
Hanging by the tip (as if a nose drip),
I didn’t last long, loosing my grip
I slipped on down to her upper lip,
It was rosy and plump (not a bad place to sit),
But I narrowly escaped as she licked her lips,
And decided I better head south (away from her mouth),
But her chin was wagging, and my strength flagging,
Off I fell like a crumb,
Down, down, down, till I hit the floor on my bum,
And then she promptly stepped on me flat,
And that’s how I got my name Jack Splat!

If you enjoy these very short stories, you can also check out one of my earliest books – MONTY’S VERY SHORT SHORTS which includes 366 illustrated pieces (one for each day in my life of 2020).

Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty

Monty’s Very Short Shorts – #Child

#Child

Natasha Yentrouc @Threads

#Child


Trigger Warning (self-harm)!

In sadness,
And madness,
A child of no more than two times three,
I gripped my throat as tight as I could,
Seeking my last breath,
All I wanted was ______,
But I couldn’t hold on,
I caught my breath and cried out in despair
At the sudden rush of air,
The pain of failure too much to bare!

I share this now because it’s what comes to mind when I think of the word “child”. But also because I’m so grateful to still be here decades beyond that first of many attempts. Not just here, but genuinely happy to be here! If you are having thoughts about self harm, please seek help. No matter how you might feel inside, you are loved.

If you enjoy these very short stories, you can also check out one of my earliest books – MONTY’S VERY SHORT SHORTS which includes 366 illustrated pieces (one for each day in my life of 2020).

Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty

Monty’s Very Short Shorts – #Shirk

#Shirk

Natasha Yentrouc @Threads

Sleep on It (#Shirk)

I couldn’t sleep last night,
I kept tossing and turning,
Getting twisted in the bedsheets,
As my mind twirled and whirled,
Spinning on a single word
That I just wouldn’t let go of,
I couldn’t shirk the feeling
That I was letting myself down
By trying to sleep on it.

If you enjoy these very short stories, you can also check out one of my earliest books – MONTY’S VERY SHORT SHORTS which includes 366 illustrated pieces (one for each day in my life of 2020).

Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty

Monty’s Very Short Shorts – #Prosody

#Prosody

Natasha Yentrouc @Threads

#Prosody

Let’s see here. “A. B. C. D. E. F. G….L.M.N.O. P!”
Here we are “Pa, Pe, Pi, Po, Pro, Pros, Prosody!”
Hmm – “the patterns of rhythm and sound used in poetry”.
Oh! I see! Kinda like a melody, but poetically?

If you enjoy these very short stories, you can also check out one of my earliest books – MONTY’S VERY SHORT SHORTS which includes 366 illustrated pieces (one for each day in my life of 2020).

Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty

Monty’s Very Short Shorts – #Hunt

#Hunt

Natasha Yentrouc @Threads

Hunting Season (#Hunt)


Hunting season is a let down to be honest. I like a bit of challenge in my sport and picking off all these dolts wearing bright orange gear is like the cliche expression of “shooting fish in a barrel”. Last week I snagged seven kills in a single day. It’s child’s play, really.

If you enjoy these very short stories, you can also check out one of my earliest books – MONTY’S VERY SHORT SHORTS which includes 366 illustrated pieces (one for each day in my life of 2020).

Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty