Author Archives: Monty Vern

Personal blogger, author & illustrator, and overall fallible human being.

Monty’s Very Short Shorts – #Stirring

#Stirring

Natasha Yentrouc @Threads

How to Poet (#Stirring)


Mix in some savory tears
(I find the happy variety offers the greatest flavor)
A pinch of bitterness goes a long way,
Of course you need some good old sweet sadness
And finally a chuckle or two for kicks.
You may follow this recipe loosely,
But, for the love of God, Never. Stop. Stirring.

If you enjoy these very short stories, you can also check out one of my earliest books – MONTY’S VERY SHORT SHORTS which includes 366 illustrated pieces (one for each day in my life of 2020).

Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty

Monty’s Very Short Shorts – #Catwalk

#Catwalk

Natasha Yentrouc @Threads

Joe (#Catwalk)

Joe worked the catwalk like no other. The higher the floor the more flourish he added. The other guys, enjoying the show, would egg him on. He loved it. One day, working on the 73rd floor of a new office building, he pulled out his pair of steel-toed high heels (safety first!) and started to do his “rivet dance”. Unfortunately, he was so into doing his thing he didn’t even see Bob there. I won’t get into the details, but let’s just say that day’s show was particularly riveting.

If you enjoy these very short stories, you can also check out one of my earliest books – MONTY’S VERY SHORT SHORTS which includes 366 illustrated pieces (one for each day in my life of 2020).

Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty

Monty’s Very Short Shorts – #Dolphin

#Dolphin

Bad Fiction: olliefrancis @ Threads

The Substitute (#Dolphin)

Alright. Alright class. Settle down!
As you know, Mrs. Brown is on leave today,
So we have Mr. Dolphman here to substitute.

Mr. Dolphman enters the classroom to a collective gasp and a rush of whispers.

What is he? Is that what I think it is?! Half-man. Half-dolphin?

Mr. Dolphman ignored the commotion and instructed the students to open up their biology textbooks to the chapter on genetic engineering. Today would be a more practical lesson than usual.

If you enjoy these very short stories, you can also check out one of my earliest books – MONTY’S VERY SHORT SHORTS which includes 366 illustrated pieces (one for each day in my life of 2020).

Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty

Monty’s Very Short Shorts – #Loop

#Loop

Bad Fiction: olliefrancis @ Threads

The Big G (#Loop)

We looped-da-looped,
Whipped and flipped,
Up was down, and down was up;
I enjoyed my ride, on the wild side.
But unfortunately for all involved,
As we continued to revolve,
My insides came out, in a giant spout;
It was quite a mess, I confess,
But what do you expect,
From a ride named Grotesque?

If you enjoy these very short stories, you can also check out one of my earliest books – MONTY’S VERY SHORT SHORTS which includes 366 illustrated pieces (one for each day in my life of 2020).

Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty

Monty’s Very Short Shorts – #Red

#Red

Bad Fiction: olliefrancis @ Threads

The Dragons Danced (#Red)

The dragons danced in flight,
Shooting red flames into the night,
Signaling another hero’s demise
Warning anyone else that tries,
For if you dare, to enter their lair,
You’re in for one hell of a fight.

If you enjoy these very short stories, you can also check out one of my earliest books – MONTY’S VERY SHORT SHORTS which includes 366 illustrated pieces (one for each day in my life of 2020).

Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty