Zach, a friend, described shame like an amusement ride that sucks but we keep buying tickets to ride anyway. When he said it I envisioned being on the first moments of a rollercoaster when it still feels like something fun to do. Then as I reach higher and higher heights my stomach sinks and I remember how much I hate what’s about to come. Then it comes and it’s a crazy and emotional ride. The downs terrifying. The ups anxiety ridden knowing that another down is on the horizon. Finally the ride smooths out and I coast to a gentle stop at acceptance. I might have hated the ride but it turned out fine in the end. And despite hating it every time. And despite ending up exactly where I started just a bit more traumatized. I think, “shall I go again?” Sure I could go directly to acceptance, but I keep choosing to re-ride the wild ride of shame. Crazy, right? Right.
Be well,
Monty
Monty’s Blahg 
Right.
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This is so insightful, Monty! Hope all is well.
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Thanks Michelle!
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Shame is a strange and often unproductive emotion… That said, shame can also rein in unhealthy impulses! I hope all is well and life is on an even keel!
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It’s interesting. For me I’ve found that the less I indulge in shame and the more I accept grace, I want to behave “worthily” which is inhibiting unhealthy impulses more than shame ever has for me.
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Good analogy by your friend, and I like your reflection on it, Monty.
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