Category Archives: personal blog

Fiery Words

Fiery Words

Mind smoking;

Thoughts igniting;

Wishing to be said.

 

Flash burning;

Sparks flying;

Escaping from my head.

 

Embers cooling;

Ash forming;

Falling on this page instead.

Be well,

Monty

Forgotten Dreams

24th post for #bloganuary (a WordPress event)

The Prompt: Write about a dream you remember.

My Answer: …

The Sea is Watching

Be well,

Monty

Dear Father,

23rd post for #bloganuary (a WordPress event)

The Prompt: Interview a fictional character.

I’m stretching this prompt a bit, but this is what I feel like sharing today. In many ways, the Father in this poem is fictional. The creation of a young boy trying to make sense of a situation that didn’t make any sense. Originally written last year.

Dear Father,

Dear Father, is it true? Did you leave to be free of me?

I come from you. Are you ashamed? Do I spoil your good name?

I’m sorry I’m not worthy.

Dear Father, are you listening? What should I do?

Your blood runs within me. Tarnished by my stupidity.

Should I slice it free? Will you answer me?

Dear Father, where are you? Are you a reality?

Or are you just an origin story? A false memory?

Something to make sense of life biologically?

Dear Father, your silence is my answer.

I know what I must do now. I’ll let you be.

This feels right. I see the light beckoning me.

Dear Father, please forgive me.

I promise I tried my best. Honestly.

I’m sorry. I am not worthy.

Be well,

Monty

Serenity, Courage, Wisdom

22nd post for #bloganuary (a WordPress event)

The Prompt: What is your favorite quote and why?

My Answer: The serenity prayer because…

“17” originally published in Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty

Past Present Future

21st post for #bloganuary (a WordPress event)

The Prompt: If you could, what year would you time travel to and why?

Ah. A classic topic in the ol’ game of imagination. Time travel! In some ways, I kinda selected a version of time travel as my super power in the previous question (Slo-Mo Man), but let’s explore this a little further from another angle or two.

To the Past…

The past is full of memories. Some comforting. Some regrettable. If I go back in time, either to my own timeline of before my birth, I have the opportunity to change the future for better or worse. While there are many things I wish were better in this world, I do not want to risk changing the course of my life. It’s how I got to be who I am. I’ve worked very hard to overcome my challenges – some imposed by others and many imposed by myself. I finally like myself (mostly) and I love my life and the people in it. So, despite the temptation, I’ll pass on the past.

To the Future…

Ah, this is something that I’ve flirted with so many times in my life. It’s the escapist’s dream. Fast forward through a boring school day. Skip past the heartbreak year after a painful breakup. Or jump all the way to life’s finale for the ultimate release. Even these days, when I’m trying to embrace the present, I can find myself fantasizing about retirement during a particularly annoying zoom meeting at work. But to skip ahead is to miss all the presents in between. I don’t want to miss a moment. A chance to share a laugh with my kids. A hug with my wife. An interesting introspection with my mom. A hot coffee or cold beer with a friend. So, its a firm no on fast forwarding to the future for me.

To the Present…

You might be wondering exactly how “time-traveling” to the present would work. Isn’t it just NOT time-traveling at all? Well, I’d argue that while my body is always in the present, my mind is not. My mind is often reliving the past or fantasizing about the future. While this isn’t inherently bad, it tends to be a negative place for me. Either a place of regret, guilt, and resentment. Or a place of unhealthy escapism that leans toward suicidal ideation. So, my choice is to time-travel to the present. It’s the one version of this fantasy that I can actually work on to achieve.

When Time Stills

Where

nothing

happens,

When 

time

stills,

and

the

world

shrinks

to

now,

I

awaken.

Be well,

Monty

A Photo of a Photo

20th post for #bloganuary (a WordPress event)

The Prompt: What is your favorite photo you’ve ever taken?

Um, “ever”??? Let’s get reasonable. How about my favorite photo that I have on my phone’s camera roll? I mean it’s not reasonable to expect me to remember all the photos from my very first manual camera till now. That would be over four decades. But, if I’m honest, most of those photos will have my thumb in the corner so probably not legitimate candidates. So let’s see, I’ll be back after doing some browsing and trying to remember which photos I personally took.

…

Ah, that was quick, actually. Here is a digital photo of a physical photo that I took back in Nagoya, Japan in 1995 of the girl I had fallen for the moment I met her. When I look at this photo I feel the excited energy of falling in love all over again. Ah, to be 22 again.

Four months after this photo was taken we were married and we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary last year.

“Intoxicated” – originally published in Monty’s Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty

Flirt Alert! (a Paint Chip Poem)

No Love For Fatties invites us to join in on her Paint Chip Poetry by creating our own poem inspired by the paint chip colors of the week. I think this is a really creative and fun idea so I’m giving it a try. Check out her original post and join in too if you feel inspired.

Paint Chip Poetry

Flirt Alert!

Hey baby,

Yah you, Miss Firecracker;

Bring all of your spice;

I’m up for some danger;

Forbidden reds my pleasure;

Your the curry to my naan;

We’re destined to be together.

“Wrapped” – originally created for the Monty Does Christmas Mini-Series

Be well,

Monty

The Night Train

19th post for #bloganuary (a WordPress event)

The Prompt: Write something mysterious.

Well, this is quite the turn. Write something mysterious, huh? No query. Not even a polite “please”. Just a matter of fact statement to write…something…mysterious. Challenge accepted!

The Night Train

It was after midnight. A bit foggy. Like my memory of this night over 40 years ago. Or perhaps it was a dark clear night with no moon? As I said my memory is foggy. But despite the lack of certainty on some of the specifics, this is a true story.

We were sitting in the car, parked at the Brattleboro, Vermont train station lot situated tightly between the long since closed station building and the rails. We were awaiting the arrival of Amtrak’s Montrealer – traveling painfully slowly from New York City to Montreal due to the poor track conditions. The only passenger train serving our rural community. I was 8 or 9 years old. My older brother, about 12, was on the train, which was running late as always.

It was cold and dark. Just a single dim lamp lighting the parking lot. Mom was sitting next to me in the driver’s seat. A shiver came over me as we sat there. Not from the cold (the car was running with the heat on), but from a sudden vision. I knew (not thought, knew!) that the next car that arrived in the lot was going to fall off the sharp edge of the parking lot and onto the tracks. I didn’t just have the feeling…I told my Mom what I was so sure I knew was going to happen. She didn’t say anything as far as I recall, but she listened and still remembers that night and my prediction.

So when the next car came crawling in we watched it carefully. It was a small passenger car. And, as I’m sure you already suspect, it slid off the parking lot surface and hung over the edge onto the tracks. Exactly as I had predicted. There was a moment of excited panic across the lot as some folks rushed over to the stranded vehicle. The train was already late so it could arrive at anytime with its loud horn and slow rumble. But the night was still silent, and the car was light enough to be lifted to safety by the group of burly Vermonters. And all was well.

I can rationalize this “premonition” as just being a logical fear due to the narrow driving lane between the parked cars and the tracks and the dim light of the night. But, I’m inclined to think I saw the future. Why not? It makes for a cooler story.

Hope you enjoyed that little true story.

Unrelated, but in the spirit of “mysterious”, here is a bonus illustrated poem.

“The Poetess” – originally published in Monty’ Very Short Shorts

Be well,

Monty

To Be (Read) or Not to Be (Read)

18th post for #bloganuary (a WordPress event)

The Prompt: What book is next on your reading list?

I’ve been a bit slow on reading ever since I took up writing. I find myself more often putting my energy into creating and it leaves less time and energy for my original and beloved pastime of casual reading. Growing-up and all through my student years I was a ferocious reader and it was torturous when I moved overseas in my early 20’s and lost access to books. Now, with e-books, it’s so much better and I do love the fact that I have access to virtually any book that I desire. While I may not be reading as much these days, I’m still reading. Here is my current reads in progress and what’s up next.

My Current Kindle Library

Younger Next Year – Henry S. Lodge & Chris Crowley (currently reading @82%)

This book was recommended to me by a recently acquired friend who is about a decade ahead of me and just retired. He is in great physical and mental shape and he suggested this book to me as it was transformational for him.

I’ll admit that I struggled significantly when starting this book due to one of the author’s (Chris Crowley) voice. Although the books title doesn’t include any indication that it’s directed toward men (and much of the scientific content is relevant to both women and men), the author is clearly directing his message toward men. I found this a bit off putting, personally, but based on the strong recommendation I decided to push through.

The other author’s writing, Dr. Henry S. Lodge, is much more accessible to me (although it’s scientific content may be a challenge for non-scientist types). I love science so his content really works for me and I found it very compelling.

In a nutshell, this book lays out the science for why physical exercise and social engagement is fundamental to our holistic health and can allow us to live our lives vibrantly into our retirement years. It also provides some very practical advice on how to start.

As a overweight middle-aged man looking to retire in about a decade this book’s message has resonated strongly with me and I would recommend it to other’s like me (including women if you can get over the overly macho writing of the 2nd author).

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence – Esther Perel (currently reading @19%)

Another recommendation, this one coming from my therapist. I’m not sure if admitting this shares too much information about me, but *shrug*.

I don’t have too much to say about this book. I’m unlikely to continue to read it further. Not because it doesn’t provide a valuable message and insights. It does. It explores the areas of passion and sex within a committed marriage. However, it is very repetitive and not sure if I’ve much more to gain for the effort required to finish the book.

How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics (currently reading @8%)

Another recommendation! I had no idea that my reading list had completely shifted from self-identified pleasure reading to more self-help recommendations. While I appreciate life-long learning, I do think I need to find something to read for pure fun.

This books title says it all and let’s just say that I qualify from multiple perspectives and I will definitely continue to read.

When Breath Becomes Air – Paul Kalanithi (TBR)

This is highly reviewed memoir of a neurosurgeon contemplating the meaning of life. I’m writing my own memoir and if I recall correctly I came across this title while I was researching memoirs for inspiration. While I don’t consider my blog as a place I will do too much book reviewing, I will see if I’m inspired by this book and share my thoughts as they come up.

Be well,

Monty

Slow Dancing with My Ego

From time to time I will dip into my previous posts from my old blog to share when they feel right. Yesterday I had quite a battle with my ego and this morning was a struggle, so I thought I’d share this piece with you. Hope you appreciate it. I did when rereading it.

Slow Dancing with My Ego

(Originally posted on 17 December 2021 on MontysScribbles.com)

I almost skipped today. My “daily” meditation that is. I’ve been feeling quite down lately. For various reasons and just because. It’s a familiar feeling. Motivation is always one of the first to go. To work. To live. But that is not the point. Only an explanation for why I almost skipped today.

I didn’t skip though. I took a small step toward the light and sat. I sat with myself. An unlikable but dependable companion. I sat with Him too. Not God. But a higher (than I) power that shares His wisdom with me when I choose to listen. His name is Jeff. A bit of an ordinary name for a higher power, but perhaps that’s a lesson too?

He asked me to dance. To slow dance more specifically. My dance partner? He left the choice to me. Any one of my many insecurities would do. But my partner chose me. He bullied his way to the front of the line whining “Me! Me! Me!”

I succumbed. I embraced my partner tentatively at first. With shame. Reluctantly acknowledging his existence, I wrapped my arms stiffly around him. Then I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. And another. My arms softened gradually with acceptance. No love. But compassion. A moment of peace.

Jeff chuckled at the imagined site of me. I smiled. I’m grateful I didn’t skip today.

Be well,

Monty